Art Collector Simulation/Game
Plus an update on Damien Hirst and a movie recommendation
Hello dear readers, I have a new simulation for you! I have created a little choose-your-own-adventure game so you can experience firsthand the trials and tribulations of trying to buy a blue-chip piece of art. I also have a Damien Hirst update and a movie recommendation. Don’t forget to check out What We Carry, our online art show up through April. (If you are a new reader, welcome to my MFA thesis project. You may want to start here.)
ART COLLECTOR SIMULATION: It’s not actually that easy to walk into a gallery or an auction house and pick up a super fancy piece of investment-quality art. The prices aren’t posted and you have to pass a few tests before anyone will give you the time of day. Rather than just writing an essay about how it all goes down, I have created a short game where you can try different scenarios to purchase your dream painting by that fabulous artist, Adelaide Blair. (She’s amazeballs.)
CLICK ON THIS LINK or the above image to play. There are several paths you can go down, and none of them should take very long if you want to go through it a couple of times to try different things. The simulation was created using Twine, which is what I used for the art show, so it should be familiar.
DAMIEN HIRST HAS THE SPINS: I have an update on frequent newsletter rant target Damien Hirst! It will probably not surprise you to learn he has another long-running series of works we haven’t talked about called “spin” paintings. He (or an assistant most likely) places a canvas on a spinning surface and then drips household paint on it. Here is the language Christie’s used to describe the process in an auction lot essay for one of the paintings:
“Hirst’s technique of pouring household gloss onto a mechanically rotating canvas instils the work with palpable sense of movement. By dripping the paint upon a machine, Hirst withdraws his own artistic hand, introducing an air of unpredictability that rejects conscious thought and defies artistic convention. Hirst’s mechanical application of dripping paint parodies the personal creative expression of Jackson Pollock’s action paintings, while his rejection of manual intervention alludes to the audacity of Marcel Duchamp’s ready-mades.”
Yeah, this description is hyperbolic nonsense. There are a ton of these types of things for sale on Etsy if you want to buy something cheaper and indistinguishable from Hirst’s. Or you could go to Casa de Spin in Massapequa, NY to make your own. (Pictured above.) But recently, if you wanted to DIY and get it blessed by him, you could accomplish it with the help of an app. According to Louis Jebb in The Art Newspaper,
“It is called The Beautiful Paintings and allows collectors to use an app dashboard—developed with the art services and technology business Heni—to order a non-fungible token (NFT), minted on the Ethereum blockchain, make it round or square and have it printed out or not, in one of four sizes…The NFTS are priced at $2,000 apiece and the print-outs (signed by Hirst)—made after using an algorithm to enlarge the digital file to an ultra-high resolution—range from $1,500 to $6,000.”
This seems even more money-grabby than usual for Hirst, but whatever. I’m sure sales were fine. Unfortunately, I think this NFT drop is over, but if you wait long enough, there will be another one. Maybe next time he’ll let you pay him to let you physically paint your own piece and upload it as an NFT for him to sell back to you. I’m sure he’ll even give you a cut of the profits.
GRUMPY OLD MAN YELLS AT ART INVESTORS: In 2008, legendary art critic Robert Hughes appeared in a documentary film about the financialization of the art world entitled The Mona Lisa Curse. Directed by Mandy Chang, the film is basically this entire newsletter distilled into a little over an hour. I just saw it this past weekend (Easter 2023), and it very much could have served as a template for everything I have written over the past year, including all the complaining about Damien Hirst. My favorite part is when Hughes tries to get one of the Mugrabi sons to explain why Andy Warhol is an important artist. Regardless of where you stand on his work, it’s obvious at least part of the answer lies in his wealth creation for art investors. Hughes knows this, and he tries his hardest to get Mugrabi to say it. (Hughes also really hates Warhol, and the whole conversation is hilarious.) This is a fun watch and you can see it for free here.
Watched the film last night, that Warhol scene is so funny. The discussions about museums' '200 year run' with that director was a bit haunting.